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Saint's Row review friv game - maybe this is also a joke?

So you look at the metascore, and inadvertently doubt - did they really relaunch tolerably and Saints Raw got a new digestible chapter? Anyway, let me explain everything...

Saint's Row 2022 is not a rethinking, and not a chance for a title for a second life, not a new look at the franchise, but an absolutely secondary and passing Deep Silver Volition hack, and there is nothing to even add here. Such a record capacious review for Cubiq ...

Before us is a game of the Friv2Online: Reloaded level, no offense to its fans will be said. Some kind of fan mod made through a stump-deck. I understand Saint's Row has never been something out of the ordinary, but before the developers at least tried to keep up with the times, while this work was so late for ... ten years?

Players are reasonably wondering: what is the reason for such high system requirements for the new friv game, if the graphics in Saint's Row, to put it mildly, are far from modern standards? And it's true, from the first frames, pale textures, dotted with model ladders, catch your eye.

And what is the detailing of distant objects, especially at night, when from afar the city lights merge into a super-soapy-incomprehensible, and when approached they turn into a nightmare for a young gamer who did not play the original GTA 3. Frankly, in my notes I dashed off a paragraph about successful work with light, and then walked under the moon and had to give it up - neon almost does not reflect from surfaces, skyscraper windows all turn into pale yellow squares, and these angular structures illuminated by invisible spotlights - how to unsee it all now?

In the cut scenes, the little men move confidently and very naturally, emotions are perfectly read on their faces - you can’t find fault with it at all, but in the open world, the NPCs walking along the streets will easily outshine the most soulless inhabitants of Night City: they talk to themselves, gesticulate inappropriately, a set of movements everyone has the same one.

In some separate moments, for example, in the hero’s apartment or in some alleys, the world boasts a detailed study, but certainly not content. A small map with several districts, a city center and a suburban desert zone is devoid of any special places of interest where you would like to stop and peer (take a photo, finally). Entirely industrial and poor quarters, but carelessly drawn canyons - that's all the local attractions.

In the beginning, we get to know ourselves in the role of a solid bigwig with our own elite club, but almost immediately we roll back in time, where our hero just entered the service of local standards, and each of his tasks is a real hell, the fire in which he himself actively inflates.

They try to lure us on the move with the usual Saint's Row tricks: shootouts with superior numbers of opponents, boss fights, chases, destruction, wingsuit turns and extravagant action scenes. But you can hardly surprise the fans of the series with a fistfight on the wing of a flying plane and driving an SUV on billboards. Well, I certainly wasn't surprised.

The vaunted character creation system is really rich in possibilities: implants for arms and legs, customization of the size of the genitals, the choice of any skin color. If desired, you can arrange for the hero elf ears, a witch's nose or an all-metal body. But the choice of clothes is limited - if you please, get it in the world.

Marks with caches are scattered across the map (a peculiar sense of humor prompted the developers to hide valuables in trash cans), boring side "scams", contracts for murder. In between missions, players can get tattoos in the parlors and learn new dance moves in the clubs, tinker with the car in the workshop or visit the shops to buy something new for the wardrobe.

Since any of the above activities is done carelessly and rather “for show”, it all seems like some kind of unsuccessful and drawn-out joke.

The shooting in the friv game feels unnatural and toyish, but this time it is at least decently voiced, with sound bouncing off surfaces. The hero's movements are generally well animated, especially in comparison with everything else. For example, against the background of the movements of his opponents, or primitive explosions, or the strange physics of objects and the very selective destructibility of the world.

Players will be given a simple arsenal of weapons and a cinematic technique for finishing off the enemy to restore health points. Of the dozens of special skills that will open themselves as you gain experience points, one, maybe two, stand out. For example, the pineapple express, when the hero throws a grenade at the opponent's pants and throws him into a pile, looks funny. Unfortunately, this is where the creative ends, limiting you to an ordinary smoke screen, magnetic mines, an armor booster and further along the thumb.

The steering mechanics here are generally not bad, the weight of the car is felt, the models are nicely worked out and break interestingly. When using the handbrake, conceived for drifting, the hero himself gives gas so that the car remains in maneuver, and can make a small jerk in order to knock the enemy car off the road at full speed.

Chasing this all revives a little, but just driving and resting will not work because of the monstrously stupid AI drivers, who, when trying to detour, will certainly crash into something, do not know how to skip or slow down when you are driving in an oncoming lane, and brazenly ram you from behind if you dare to stop on the road. AI pedestrians are also good - they do not react to cars at all, no matter how you signal, no matter how you drive along the sidewalks.

The only outlet in the friv game is the main plot and dialogues, which in principle is also not new, since it has always been the driving force of the series. And, again, there are interesting characters and funny conversations that don't happen often enough to distract the player from Saint's Row's impressive array of flaws.

Saint's Row 2022 is a thrash comedy action movie with an acceptable script, which, like a locomotive, drags sad wagons with second-rate gameplay, the same customization, poor physics, outdated graphics and a bunch of rudimentary features that one could do without.

There is a strong impression that the developers, if they tried, then ran out of steam somewhere by 20% of production, finishing the rest as they had to. And only for jokes, funny dialogues and some episodes, Saint's Row can still be delicately praised. Writers would be from here, but on a sane project, something really interesting could turn out.